Please, tell me about what you think of my crappy poem?

Please ignore that mean first commenter. I posted on your other question (about this poem), but I saw this one too. May I just point out, since you essentially called it bad, you should never write anything you're not proud of. I mean, write it, edit, edit, then edit some more, but if you're not pleased with the final result, don't give in! Something inspired you to write it, so decide what you can do to change it and make it what you like. That's just in general, though. :)